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College is a time for new experiences, friendships, roommates and maybe even romantic relationships. No matter your social journey, building relationships that are supportive is a key to well-being.��

Here’s what matters most for building strong connections with others in college.��

1. Communication��

Open, honest conversations can make us feel vulnerable, but they are essential for genuine connection. Open communication allows us to feel understood and is important for building empathy and compassion for ourselves and others.����

It can take time to build trust in a relationship. One person might keep their feelings to themselves because they're unsure how the other person will react or what they’ll think. In a new relationship, it’s normal to need some time—and teamwork—to figure out the best ways to open up with each other.��

In addition to trust building, we can use communication to share our limits with others. When we talk about what we want and are willing to do, in any given relationship, and we hear what the other person's limits are as well—then we have a better foundation for strong, supportive connections.��

2. Listening��

Feeling heard is one of the most important parts of communication. People need to feel comfortable bringing up issues, sharing their thoughts and listening to each other. Even though some conversations might be tough, everyone deserves to be listened to, respected and taken seriously.��

It’s important for people to make space for each other and keep the lines of communication open. If someone consistently disrespects, ignores or puts down others, that’s not okay. This can happen when one persons’ ideas or emotions are disregarded. If you or someone you know is experiencing��these kinds of behaviors, the Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) offers free, confidential support for students, staff and faculty.��

3. Disagreements��

Disagreements and conflict are a normal part of any relationship. Sometimes, conflict actually highlights areas where something could improve in a relationship. Avoiding or ignoring disagreements can lead to more stress or unmet needs, which can make way for resentments to build. It’s better to address things that are bothering us or if a problem keeps repeating. How we handle conflict usually matters more than the disagreement itself.��

When people don’t see eye to eye, talking things out with respect and listening to try and understand the other person rather than focusing on what to say next is helpful. We can’t always expect others to automatically understand our perspective—it takes care and effort on all sides. Building skills for talking through disagreements is something that is challenging for everyone. Using “I” statements, like “I feel worried when…” instead of “You make me…,” can make conversations less confrontational and keep emotions from escalating. Learn more about active listening and “I” statements from Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution.��

Sometimes, conflict can get out of hand or even feel intimidating. If someone is worried that disagreements will lead to anger, abuse or violence—or if they are being put down or belittled in a relationship—know that they can reach out for help. for students, staff and faculty who are experiencing concerning or harmful behaviors in relationships.��

4. Trust��

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It means that our actions line up with what we say we will do, and people feel comfortable spending time with other friends, joining clubs or hanging out with classmates.��

Things can get concerning if one person is always jealous when a friend or partner talks to or hangs out with other people. Remember, having a variety of friendships and support networks is important—whether that’s friends, mentors or family. Building and maintaining these connections helps people feel supported and balanced.��

If someone tries to make people feel guilty for having other friends, accuses them of not being loyal or tries to control who they talk to, those behaviors undermine a supportive relationship. This kind of behavior can leave someone feeling isolated or even anxious and depressed. If you or someone you know is ever in a relationship with these dynamics, OVA is here to offer free, confidential support and resources for those who want help navigating unsupportive or controlling behaviors in a relationship.��

5. Intimacy��

A romantic or intimate relationship means people are working towards building a relationship where everyone feels some sense of comfort setting boundaries and talking openly about their emotional and physical needs—whatever that looks like for them.��

Feeling able to share what we want (and don’t want), and what feels right or wrong for us is essential. Understanding others’ needs and values requires ongoing communication. If you are in a romantic or sexual relationship and want some guidance on boundary setting and communication, check out the free Sex Ed Workbook. It’s designed to help people think through what they want from intimate relationships, what they believe about sex and how to talk about values, boundaries and behaviors with a partner, friends or a doctor.��

If people feel too embarrassed or afraid to share their feelings because they think a partner won’t listen or care, intimacy can start to feel stressful instead of enjoyable. And if someone’s needs are ignored or they feel pressured into doing things they don’t want to do, those are signs of unsupportive or abusive behavior. Remember, OVA is here to offer free and confidential support and resources.��

Find support��

If you or someone you know is currently experiencing hurtful or abusive behaviors in a relationship, there are resources that can help.������

Campus resources��

Office of Victim Assistance (OVA): OVA provides free and confidential trauma-specific counseling, advocacy and support for students, staff and faculty around various traumatic experiences, including intimate partner abuse and domestic violence. Call 303-492-8855 (24/7) to talk to an advocacy counselor. You can also browse more information related to intimate partner abuse on their website.����

Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS): CAPS works with students to address a variety of mental health concerns, including navigating relationships. They also offer a variety of process and skill-based therapy groups to help students explore a variety of topics, speak on their experiences and receive group support. These groups emphasize relationships, interpersonal skills and connection.����

Don’t Ignore It: This online resource can help students, staff, faculty and community members navigate reporting options and get help for themselves or others. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Don't ignore it.����

Community resources��

: SPAN provides a number of services to the Boulder community, including a 24/7 crisis line, shelter, counseling, legal advocacy, housing and transitional services and anti-violence education.����

: This organization can provide information on shelters and 24/7 hotlines throughout Colorado. They also provide other information related to intimate partner abuse and domestic violence specific to Colorado.�� ����

: This hotline is available 24/7 and offers support in more than 200 languages at 1-800-799-7233. You can also through their website. All phone calls and chats are confidential.������

: The Trevor Project provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ communities. Access 24/7 support by calling 1-866-488-7386. Support is also available through .��